Wednesday, February 2, 2011


So I have come to a grinding halt! Again... *sigh*

Pre-season Task 2 is killing me because to admit "I have the emotional capacity for this" as opposed to don't really scares me. There was definitely a stage in my life when I could handle very little emotionally because I was depressed but I have since defeated this belief in a small way but now it's time to face it in a big way and it makes me feel physically ill.

The other side of the coin is.... if I do have the emotional capacity for this, how much of the rest of my life am I wasting? I could be in another place right now but I tell myself that I am too emotionally weak to deal with this and so many other things in my life...

This has been such a shock to me. Now Mish has posted Preseason task 5 and I am still sitting here in denial....

Truth: I don't want to be sitting here in denial in 12 weeks time looking back having missed the opportunity again.... So I am giving myself a great big wake up call.  By the end of this weekend I will have completed these tasks and be up to date. I will be gut wrenchingly honest with myself, because I don't want to continue living my life this way.